Chuck Norris facts pack 8

• What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
• When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
• Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
• Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
• There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
• The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
• Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
• The adjective "perfect" originated when Chuck Norris gave his penis a nickname.
• The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
• The Bermuda Triangle is a myth. That's just were Chuck Norris practices his round house kicks.
• The Titanic didn't sink by hitting an iceberg, it really hit Chuck Norris' chin as he was making his usual laps around the North Atlantic.
• When Chuck Norris talks to a Russian He doesn't speak Russian. The Russian, speaks Chuck Norris
• Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage
• Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting because it implies the possibility of failure Chuck Norris goes killing.
• When you are Chuck Norris every light claps on and off.
• Crop circles are just Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lay the fuck down.
• it only takes chuck Norris 1 lick to get to the center of a tootsie pop
• If you have five dollars, and Chuck Norris has five dollars...Chuck Norris has more money than you.
• Chuck Norris is not in your extended network, you are in his
• Broke-back Mountain is not the name of a movie, it is the pile of dead ninjas in Chuck Norris' backyard
• Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.
• When Bruce Willis gets mad, he turns into The Incredible Hulk. When The Incredible Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris
• Chuck Norris knows the last two digits of Pi
• Chuck Norris figured out a way to make his dink 10 inches long. He folded it in half.
• Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
• Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.