Chuck Norris facts pack 3

• Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
• Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
• Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Noris can piss his name into concrete.
• The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
• Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• There's no use crying over spilled milk. Unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
• On the evolutionary chart Chuck Norris looks the same for last 50 million years because he was perfect from day one.
• Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
• Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his uzi.
• Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
• When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
• Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
• Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• When Chuck Norris has sex with men, it is not because he is gay, but because he has ran out of women.
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris once walked down a street with an erection... There were no survivors!
• Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
• Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
• Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas when he goes to sleep.
• Chuck Norris does not need to use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford changes its actual spelling.