Chuck Norris facts pack 5

• Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
• Chuck Norris doesn't have sperm, only little ninjas.
• Chuck Norris' nipples can power China for 44 minutes.
• Chuck Norris is actually Jeeves from AskJeeves.com.
• Chuck Norris invented the beard.
• When Chuck Norris runs with scissors other people get hurt.
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
• Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
• Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
• Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
• If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
• NEVER look directly at Chuck Norris you'll go blind
• There is no such thing as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
• Chuck Norris once had a heart attack, his heart lost.
• A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
• Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
• When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it effects the economy.
• Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
• Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
• If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
• Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
• Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
• When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.
• Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
• Chuck Norris invented water.
• Chuck Noris can rhyme orange and purple... with each other!